


christmas with the joker.

by fatsnape



Category: Batman - All Media Types, DCU, DCU (Comics)
Genre: CHRISTMAS WITH THE JOKER YEAH, Idiots in Love, M/M, batjokes if u squint, but like not that hard, dick grayson is SICK of their shit, its pretty obvious, just ..... comfort writing, less ?? toxic batjokes ??
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-22
Updated: 2020-12-22
Packaged: 2021-03-11 04:39:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 597
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28229277
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fatsnape/pseuds/fatsnape
Summary: the joker has something special for batman, just for christmas.or : dick grayson has had ENOUGH.
Relationships: Alfred Pennyworth & Bruce Wayne, Dick Grayson & Bruce Wayne, Joker (DCU) & Bruce Wayne, Joker (DCU)/Bruce Wayne, batjokes implied
Kudos: 34





	christmas with the joker.

**Author's Note:**

> this probably makes ... no sense ! but i wrote this as a comfort thing. because for some reason batjokes is a comfort to me. i hope u enjoy!

CHRISTMAS EVE : ( everyone's favourite time of year. well, almost everyone. ) 

the batsuit padded against the metal ground, rhythmically as the man sped through the cave. robin followed slowly behind, dramatically groaning with every other step. 

" come on bruce— it's christmas eve. do we really have to go out? " 

" joker broke out of arkham— of course we do. " 

bruce quickened his pace, ignoring the protests of the boy behind him. 

" but it's / christmas eve / even scum celebrate christmas with their families. " dick emphasised, rolling his eyes. 

" the joker has no family. at least not besides— " bruce took a breath. never had he been so grateful that his expression was unreadable due to his cowl. robin seemed to take a pause as well. 

yanking the door to the batmobile open, bruce was forced to stop in his tracks. in his seat, sat a small blue package, wrapped with a big yellow bow. batman took a breath, opening the box with intense care. 

behind him, robin scoffed, stepping away from the parcel. bruce turned to him, narrowing his eyes before returning to the box. and with that, he ripped the box open, expecting a bomb of some sort. 

but no, there was no bomb. no trick. no jack in the box. only a card, and something wrapped very .... poorly. bruce, confused, turned to dick for some explanation. but the boy merely shrugged. 

bruce nodded, and turned back to the card. on the front, there was a small clown with a sad face, besides a christmas tree. he opened it, and read it with precision. 

" HAPPY CHRISTMAS D̶A̶R̶L̶I̶N̶G̶ BATSY.  
FROM YOUR OLD PAL, THE JOKER!  
XOXO, SENDING ALL OF MY LUV. " 

beside the writing, there was a large kiss symbol. robin chuckled from behind the bat, but bruce simply sent him a death-glare, and he shut up very quickly. bruce turned back to the note, even more confused than he was before. he slipped the note into his pocket, slowly, and then turned to the rest of the box. 

as mentioned, inside there was a small parcel, wrapped with the talent of a two year old, perhaps. as carefully as before, bruce unwrapped the " gift. " 

" is that — " dick questioned. 

yes, yes it was. inside, there was a christmas sweater. a... batman-themed.... christmas sweater. yellow and black, with the bat symbol on it all around. it was knitted perfectly. almost as if made by a professional. 

" do you think he made that himself? " robin asked, coming closer to batman to take a better look. bruce shook his head, in a daze. 

" i have ...... no idea ...... " bruce replied, closing the door to the batmobile behind him. 

" you're gonna keep it, right? i mean .... c'mon, bruce. it's your style and everything! " dick joked, elbowing bruce. 

bruce scoffed, putting the sweater and the note back in the box. he held the box against him  
carefully, not daring to turn back to see the expression on dick's face. 

" well— i think the joker is ... fine for tonight. so ... what was the movie you wanted to watch? it's a wonderful life? " bruce questioned, making his way out of the bat-cave. 

robin broke out in hysterical laughter, speeding up to match bruce's stride. 

" you're easy, bruce!!! " he chuckled to himself, playfully kicking the man as they walked away. 

" oh shut up— " 

AND SO , that was how bruce wayne spent his holidays. watching terrible christmas movies, alongside dick grayson & alfred pennyworth. the box remainded in a closet in his room, seemingly unopened again. 

BUT if either of the two men saw bruce wearing the christmas sweater, they never told . . .


End file.
